Code of conduct

Who this applies to

Every attendee, host, co-host, and volunteer at any Sin the Bottle event, from the moment you arrive to the moment you leave (and in what you say publicly about the event afterwards).

The core rules

1. Consent before contact, every time. No physical contact, close-proximity play, or sexual activity with anyone who has not said yes to that specific activity with you. The in-app pairing is a prompt, not permission; the real yes happens in person. "No" ends the interaction. So does silence, hesitation, or "maybe later."
2. Honour the traffic light. Yellow means pause and communicate. Red means stop right now. There is no debate after a red; the interaction ends and the round resets. Use it freely, and honour it without argument when someone else uses it.
3. 18 or older, everyone. You must be 18 or older to attend. The host may ask to see photo ID at the door if you look under 25; bring it. No ID, no entry. Misrepresenting your age voids your application and any future application.
4. No photography, video, or audio recording. No exceptions. Phone cameras covered or stowed once the session starts. Don't film the room, the card wall, people's cards, or anyone attending. Don't post identifying event details (photos, videos, names, faces) on social media or anywhere else. This rule protects every attendee's privacy and isn't negotiable.
5. Sober during play. No alcohol, recreational drugs, or intoxicants during the session itself. A single drink beforehand is fine; being impaired during play is not. Consent has to be meaningful, and a judgement call made while impaired isn't.
6. Come well. If you're unwell, have fresh symptoms, a cold sore flare, a known recent exposure to anything contagious, or anything similar, stay home and let us know. Your ticket is refundable for any notified illness.
7. No outing, gossip, or kink-shaming. Treat everything you see and hear at the event as confidential. If you recognise someone, default to assuming they'd prefer you don't acknowledge them outside the event. Don't talk about specific people's preferences, limits, or what they did or didn't do with anyone else.
8. Respect the host and their home. Events are often held in private residences. Treat the space as you would a close friend's home: shoes off where asked, ask before entering rooms that aren't the play area, don't break things, clean up after yourself.
9. No discrimination or harassment. Discrimination, harassment, or intimidation based on race, gender, gender identity, sexuality, body type, ability, age, neurotype, or anything else is a breach. Sexist, racist, transphobic, or ableist remarks are a breach. Persistent advances after a no are a breach. Interrupting someone's scene or standing too close without invitation is a breach.
10. Don't circumvent the consent system. Don't pressure anyone to toggle consent flags. Don't set flags on someone else's phone. Don't try to reverse-engineer what other people did or didn't toggle. The system is there to protect everyone, including you.

What happens if you breach the code

Minor breaches (stepping into a scene uninvited, loud behaviour during a round, phone out for a non-camera reason after the no-recording reminder): the host will give you one clear warning. A second breach in the same evening, or failure to honour the warning, means you're asked to leave.

Serious breaches are one-strike: immediate removal from the event, a permanent ban from future Sin the Bottle events, and a report to other hosts in the community network. Serious breaches include:

• Any non-consensual physical contact or attempted contact after a no or a red.
• Photography, video, or audio recording.
• Misrepresenting your age or identity.
• Coercion, intimidation, or threat of any kind.
• Outing, doxing, or sharing identifying event information publicly.
• Bringing drugs into the event, or attending visibly impaired.
• Retaliation against anyone who raises a concern or uses the traffic light.

The ban list

We maintain a shared ban list of identities (Fetlife username and email) barred from applying. Applications from banned identities are rejected with a generic message that doesn't reveal the ban. The list is not published; it's internal to the host community and to the apply site's moderator review.

If you believe you've been added in error, email safety@sinthebottle.com. We review every appeal. We do not share the reason for a ban with anyone outside the host network.

Reporting a concern

If you see or experience a breach, tell the host at the event. They can respond in real time. If it's after the event, or you don't feel safe telling the host, email safety@sinthebottle.com. We aim to acknowledge every report within 72 hours. In an emergency, contact local emergency services first (000 in Australia).

Reports are handled confidentially. We don't share the reporter's identity with the subject of the report without the reporter's consent, except where we're legally required to.